“The vodka is strong, but the meat is rotten.”

One of the most crucial parts of dealing with clients is communication – probably 89% of your time will be spent on this activity. Case in point, my major’s name was changed from Graphic Design to Visual Communications. I, personally, wasn’t a fan of the switcheroo because there are way too many syllables in Vis-u-al Comm-u-ni-ca-tions. But, the decision to include “communications” was pretty clear-cut. That’s what we graphic designers do: we communicate your ideas through a language everyone understands. Also, we talk on the phone and email a shit ton. So, don’t brush off people who are trying to emphasize the importance of having clear discussions, and for the love of God, take their advice.

Sometimes you’ll run into clients who are too vague in their communications, other times you’ll receive elaborate instructions that Tolstoy could have prose’d. Both have their ups and downs. Most importantly you must never try and translate what someone says if you are completely at a loss. Just ask them. Trust me, it will save you, and them, a lot of headaches. It will also save you a lot of wasted time you spent creating a “dancey furball” instead of a “fancy turtle” as the client requested.

A great example of how something can become so muddled up is the bemusing story of when a newly created computer translation program would take English phrases, translate them to another language, then back to English. They began with “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” and ended up with “The vodka is strong, but the meat is rotten.” Close, but no cigar.

When you discuss projects with a client be clear and concise, and repeat their ideas back to them, if you’ve gathered a lot of information type it all up and send them an email for them to look over, make sure you are as clear as possible with them to avoid any mistranslations or misunderstandings. As April Ludgate would say “Time is money, money is pizza, pizza is power.” Don’t waste your client's time, or your own, on anything other than pizza.